Anything.
That's what I wanted to write about. Even if it's only because haven't written about that precise topic in quite some time, and I find this exercise to be useful in boosting my productivity. Or that's the hope, at least. Otherwise, I'll probably just sit around feeling like I'm producing the exact opposite:
Nothing.
But Nothing really doesn't get the praise it properly deserves, now does it? Its integral form, zero, is the fundamental basis of all mathematics, and the entire state of modern politics can be summed up as two sides treating every topic as a part of a zero-sum equation.
Whatever.
I can't draw up the mental interest to focus any train of thought into a full fledged discourse, so I'll just let this ramble on. Wandering prose, unless prose is supposed to be some type of poetry, in which case this'll just be rhetoric.
I could probably chalk it up to boredom. If I was more dramatic, I'd be liable to chalk it up to something more ominous sounding, like depression. If I was a bit more full of myself, maybe I'd chalk it up to something more existential and fanciful, like hyperconsciousness. Maybe I'm all of those things, but I'm too committed to being noncommittal to snatch up one of those terms. To declare. To settle.
Is it really settling, though, to settle on reaching for something of grandeur? Even something as spectacular as, say, deciding to travel to the moon, carries the stigma of "settling". Why not travel the earth? Why not learn how to fly in one of those spacey squirrel suits? Why not keep all your options open? Even if keeping your options open means that you only ever dream, couldn't you try to make the case that a thousand unfulfilled dreams can carry the same weight of one properly realized, if only for the romanticism of it all?
Probably not. They make motivational posters against stuff like that, and famous people get paid to be quoted saying things that discourage against that. I'm sure Michael Jordan, or Steve Jobs, or Ghandi, or someone influential like that made a career out of talking people out of not doing anything, probably.
But still.
Being bored, or depressed, or hyperconscious, or whatever, gets a bad rep. Probably not hyperconscious, since that sounds entirely too pretentious to not be thrown around by people who think entirely too much of themselves. But the others, negative emotions, or even the express lack of positive emotions, a state of blankness; nobody wants that. Nobody wants you to be like that. They all want you to be a cheery, productive member of society. It's what's "best" for you. Mostly because they say so. Or because it says so; society, that is. That amorphous blob of shared consciousness that simultaneously tells you that it knows what's best for you while imploring you to embrace your own individuality and ignore others telling you that they know what's best for you. You're the one who truly matters in the equation. Society says so.
Hell, they've even got me buying in, that's why I wrote this damned thing. "I find this exercise to be useful in boosting my productivity". And I even just quoted myself from a paragraph I wrote, like, thirty minutes ago. I really am the only one that matters. Society was right all along, thank God I stopped listening to it. Now that I'm productive, I can go on being cheery, like all of society's other members.
Good.
That was fun.
C
